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YOUR WIFE IS NOT YOUR MAID

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When we take a deep look at our lives we will realize how much God has been good to us. How far we have come. How patient, loving and caring He has been towards us. Without Him, we won't be where we are now. God adds to our life, refines us, makes us better, never gives up on us. Always sees good in us and helps us to become so. He does all these because He loves us. God defines love by demonstration and not illustration, and He planted this love in our DNA. All of us can love like God, all we need is to ask for His Grace and He will be happy to give us that. But the story is different when it comes to marriage, people claim they love you but can't have patience with us. The way they use our shortfalls against us, is like being in the relationship with the devil. The Devil accuses us every day and only sees bad in us. If the man or woman who claims to love you can't make your life better without changing you into what you are not, then you are not worth such a relationship because they don't really love you. These days people are getting married based on their own illusions and no longer on love. And because many don't want to destroy their illusions, they fight with the truth. They don't want to hear the truth on how to have a lasting marriage, they don't want to accept the truth that divorce is not part of marriage, they don't want to accept the fact that everyone is beautiful and useful; that all they need is the right help and support to become better. The married need to know the grace on their spouse is no less than that of the singles out there. It is sad to know some men leave their wives for a supposed super model out there without knowing that the only difference between their wife and the other woman is, the model is taking good care of herself but the man is not taking proper care of the wife at home. If every man will treat their wives with all the love the same way they will treat their daughter, their women will be more beautiful and happier. Rather they treat them poorly and even ignore their tears. What they are unaware of is, their wives' tears may have no weight but their hearts carry heavy feelings. Feelings of hurt, pain and anger. To some wives today, the most dangerous creature on earth is a fake husband; the man who pretends to love them, the man who lied and led them on. Such men leave their woman at the time they needed them the most. Letting down the very person who trusted them the most; the one who loved, cherished and left their home and family for them. You don't leave your wife because she can't cook, you don't divorce your wife because she can't wash, iron or take care of the house the way you want it. You rather help her, teach her, encourage and empower her. When you do that, it's called love and that's what the bible expects from the husband. Your wife is not a maid or nanny, you didn't marry her based on the qualification of a maid or nanny but you married her because you loved her. Wives don't need husbands who only see the good in them, but the man who also see the bad in them and still wants them; for such a person is the one who truly loves them and is ready to help them become better. Such a wife becomes submissive to you and cannot disrespect you but honour you. In conclusion "And you husbands, show the same kind of love to your wives as Christ showed to the Church when he died for her" - Ephesians 5:25 (TLB). Written by Danjuma Iliya.

 

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