I get lots of questions on masturbation most especially from ladies -yes, ladies masturbate a lot, especially virgins. Guys also masturbate. There is no debate on that. I'm not here to argue about who masturbates most, I need to deal with a serious issue. Sexual urge for virgins is strong. What makes it stronger is the novelty, newness, the mystery and the hear says about sex. Masturbation is fondling your genitals consistently to achieve orgasm. Ladies may stroke their clitoris while guys rub, massage or caress their penis. I decided to give explicit explanation because some ask me what masturbation is. Some ladies especially non-virgins use candles, banana, small bottles, sticks, dildos or whatever represents a penis and do solo sex (having sex by yourself). From teenage upward, you will have a strong desire for sex. It's a sure sign you are normal and capable of having and enjoying sex in marriage. In your 20s it will be stronger and intense! You may wake up feeling horny for no single reason in the world or go hot on spotting a curvy lady! You may start noticing shapes and curves and you have to shake your head several times to keep the image off. You may get worked up on watching a romantic movie and discharge something. You check up and discover you are wet. All these are normal, you haven't committed any sin. So what then do you do when you get hot and horny? Have sex? I know you know my answer and some singles will never be caught dead sleeping around, so what do they do? They masturbate! They give themselves release and pleasure through solo sex while claiming virginity at the same time. Masturbation is completely wrong and not the way out. Let me explain:
- Masturbation is not done in isolation. It is done with the image of someone in mind. It can be a lover, an EX, a celebrity, a married person, a crush, someone you like but incapable of having. You imagine having sex with them while masturbating. That is MENTAL FORNICATION
- For ladies, while inserting all manner of objects, you may mistakenly deflower yourself and also introduce infection into your genitals and womb. It will be very difficult to convince your future partner that you never had sex with man except objects during your solo sex.
- You kill your ability to enjoy sex in future. Millions of women don't enjoy sex in marriage which leads to sexual frustration, adultery, lesbianism and feminism. If you are used to getting orgasm by yourself, you won't be able to get it from your husband. If you are used to objects in your private part, you won't have feelings for your husband's penis. You will always think of something harder, bigger, longer, larger and completely unrealistic! Women who complain their husbands' penis are too small didn't marry as virgins. They must have been promiscous as singles.
- You will not have a good sex life as a man. You will experience pre-mature ejaculation and your wife won't enjoy you leading to acute sexual frustration in marriage. You need self control to fully enjoy sex and give your wife maximum sexual pleasure. A woman enjoys sex when the man can go on for at least 7 minutes before ejaculating. Because you are used to instant release from masturbation, you may not be able to go more than a minute before exploding leaving your wife completely unsatisfied and frustrated. She may close up, become frigid and stop having sex altogether which may lead to you having an affair, she having an affair or both of you having an affair. Self control before marriage helps you enjoy sex to the maximum. You are able to delay ejaculation, go on for a long time and have excellent orgasm while giving your wife pleasure too. That is why total virginity pays!
- If you do not suffer premature ejaculation, you may have serious problem with delayed/ retarded ejaculation. A situation where you get erection for several hours without ejaculation or orgasm. What is the benefit of sex without orgasm? Rough masturbation with your hands kills your ability to feel/enjoy sex with your wife. It is hell for a woman to be under a man who thrusts in for hours unable to ejaculate. How will the woman get pregnant? It's the reason some women are seemingly "barren" and can't talk to anybody out of embarrassment. Thrusting hard for so long leaves the woman sore, frustrated and hating sex altogether. You have so much to lose sexually when you masturbate. Abstaining from this degrading act helps you feel relaxed, confident, have normal sexual intercourse and enjoy the pleasures that comes with sex IN MARRIAGE!
- You start having sex in the dream with a known or unknown person (demonic entities otherwise known as spiritual spouse).
- You feel drained, dirty, empty, useless and powerless after each act.
- You start getting unsatisfied and wants the real thing. You fantasize more about sex and start longing for the real act.
- You get a warped view of the opposite sex. You see them as sexual objects and start having sex with anything in skirt or trousers -you become promiscuous.
- You get damaged, hurt and broken.
- You are at risk of hell fire!
These and more are the consequences of masturbation. They damage you and shatter you to pieces! What then should you do with your sexual urge? How do you handle the constant hunger for sex?
- Avoid all dirty pictures, pornography videos, pictures and hot, romantic movies -they are powerful sexual triggers!
- Avoid friends who say dirty,lewd and obscene things. Stop all sexy banters with friends and say only things that are pure, holy, needful and helpful.
- Get busy with your life, education and career, there is more to life than sex.
- Transmute your sexual energy: Channel your sexual energy into something great. I had a strong sex drive in the institution. I simply channeled them into my education making me the best student in my department from the second year. I was very excited and energetic. I burnt the energy on my studies. I also started my ministry and was very committed as my fellowship bible study coordinator. If you don't burn that energy, you will have sex.
- Study the word a lot especially Psalm 119. When you are filled with the word, you have no space for the devil and his demons in your heart.
- Pray and speak in tongues always. It sanctifies you.
- Make friends with godly people.
- Avoid pornography and romantic movies.
- Get busy in kingdom service.
- Give your life to Jesus if you are not born again. He will surely help you out.
Masturbation is wrong, bad, demonic, destructive and sinful. Avoid it and end it with speed if you are deeply involved in it. Jesus can help you. Call on him! God bless you. Written by Danjuma Iliya.