Lots of guys are fooling in the name of dating, doing all sorts of stupid stuff just to keep a relationship which has no future. She earns more than you do, but you are the one responsible for everything of hers, yet she is not even your wife. That alone should tell you something is wrong with you. She is always sending you to her preferred restaurant without her money to get her food, it is not once in a blue moon, it has become a daily affair; and on days you don't have money to provide, you have to borrow or sell some belongings. Some even go to the extent of stealing from others just to please their girlfriend. You go to work daily in Trotro yet you are responsible for paying the Taxi or Uber fare of your girlfriend, and you claim to be in love? My dear friend, you are not in love, you are fooling. You live in a family house, don't have the means to rent your own but you have gone for loan just to rent for your girlfriend. When asked why you will do such a thing, you claim she is your wife to be. You are wrong boy, she is just a girlfriend, someone's wife in the making. You don't have masters yet you are busily paying for your girlfriend to attain a master's degree. Meanwhile you've not got money to marry her or pay for her bride price because you lack the things which will accommodate her and make life comfortable for her. You don't need anyone to point to you, you are too old to be fooling. She is so busy, has no time to do her laundry, you have to do that for her or take it to the laundry and pay for the cost, whilst you have your own clothes dirty. You do dry washing in your bathroom every morning to get something to wear. I don't need to tell you, something is very wrong. You phone has a problem, you are struggling with it, yet you have gotten the latest phone for your girlfriend on high purchase, just to keep the relationship. The saddest part is, whenever you call, her line is always busy and you are wondering who at all she might be talking to. Your parents and siblings ask you for help, you claim you are broke but each week you send mobile money to your girlfriend's sibling, deceiving yourself they are your inlaws. Young man, they are not, she is not married to you. Upon all these sacrifices, you are wondering where you stand with her. Well it is time to stop standing and start walking. Your girlfriend is not your responsibility. If they can't be responsible for their needs, it is a clear sign she is not ready for marriage. Stop demanding sex from her too. Even if you marry her, what shows she can cook, wash her personal stuff not to talk of the family's. How responsible will she be when she lives a life of irresponsibility during dating? This life is ironic; when you are young, you have lots of energy to waste but not wisdom, don't waste your energy on her, learn wisdom from the old. You need to manage your energy positively. Every successful marriage needs adequate preparation. If you start saving all these monies you waste on her you will realize how rich you are and how responsible you can be. You will also know exactly what you want and won't waste your resources on anything that is not worth. You can't marry her now because either you are not ready or she is not. It is time for you to become wise, enough of the fooling. Stop giving your all to a relationship that has nothing to offer you.
In conclusion "You should each judge your own conduct. If it is good, then you can be proud of what you yourself have done, without having to compare it with what someone else has done. For each of you have to carry your own load" - Galatians 6:4-5 (GNT) Written by Danjuma Iliya.