The word compatibility is often used by people when it comes to relationship and also the word suitability from the root word “suitable” gotten from the scripture Gen 2:18 where God said He will make a help meet (suitable) for Adam. The English dictionary defines the two words as follows:
SUITABILITY: The word “suitable” means being right or appropriate for a particular purpose or occasion.
COMPATIBILITY: The ability of people or things to live or exist together without problems.
There have been a lot of mix up between these two words and there are many relationships that are not working or breaking up because of this mix up. You hear people say we are not compatible and cannot marry and things like that. From Gen 2:18, God was much more interested in the suitability of the man and woman. God is more interested in somebody that is right for you and not just somebody you can live with. What makes you suitable for somebody is when you both fit into your purpose. Remember Eve was a help suitable for Adam. So it is very important that you discover your purpose and allow God to bring you the man or lady who will be suitable for that purpose.
You can be compatible with somebody and not be suitable or right for that person but you can’t be suitable with somebody and not be compatible with that person. Compatibility doesn’t just naturally happen. It takes work. The truth that a particular person is right or the will of God for you will make you to work towards compatibility.
The most important area you need compatibility is in your FAITH and Believe in the Son of God (Jesus Christ). An unbeliever cannot be suitable for you and you cannot be compatible (you cannot live together without problem because there won’t be agreement between the two of you and you will have different ideology and belief about God). So the most important thing to check in your compatibility is your FAITH. Once you are suitable and compatible in your faith, you can learn to live together in other areas.
From Genesis chapter 2, Suitability comes first before the man cleaved to his wife (compatibility). One of the things I’ve learnt about relationship is that, compatibility does not naturally happen; you only work out your differences day by day so as to attain compatibility. Suitability is meeting the right man/woman at the right time for the right purpose. Compatibility is two different people coming together to work on their differences for the fulfillment of purpose. Our upbringing, values, perspective etc. may make us different from each other and that is why courtship is very important before marriage. Courtship helps you to work on your differences so that you will be able to work in agreement. Who you need is the suitable person for you. Stop using your level of compatibility as yardstick for measuring the right person for you. Allow God to show you the Right person like he did for Adam.
NOTE: You can be compatible and not suitable (meaning you can learn to work out your differences without being right for each other and that will definitely bring frustration and disappointment). But when you are suitable, it becomes easy to be compatible as you work on yourselves and get rid of your differences.
SUITABILITY precedes Compatibility when it comes to choosing whom to marry.