“There comes a time in your life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and the people who create it and surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good. After all, life is too short to be anything but happy.” ~ Karl Marx.
I have been in a toxic relationship for a year and I know how challenging it may be to find the courage and strength to tell yourself: “I’ve had enough. There has to be a better way. I deserve better than this. We both do” and to finally let go of someone you once loved, and maybe still do. Holding on to toxic relationships keeps you from growing. Don’t get me wrong, I love challenges and I have this incredible ability to turn every experience, whether good or bad, into a valuable life lesson, but this doesn’t mean that I should make my life harder by clinging on to toxic relationships and drama. I believe that things should flow and they should be easy, and when they aren’t, that means something is wrong. After being in an unhealthy relationship, I have learned that if a relationship is hard, if it’s stressful, and if it takes a lot of energy and effort to try to make it work, you have to let it go, for the sake of both parties. I came to the conclusion that if a relationships doesn’t make you a better person, if it doesn’t challenge you to grow and evolve into a happier and more loving human being, it is not worth holding on to. If a relationship makes you bitter, but not better, then you are in the wrong one. Robert Tew said, “Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.” You let go of a toxic and unhealthy relationship not because you are weak, not because you no longer love the other person, but because you are strong enough to understand that there are times when two people will be a lot happier if they go separate ways than if they stay together. There comes a time in our lives when we have to do what’s right and to honor not only ourselves, but also the people around us. Don’t make the same mistake I have made. Don’t cling on to unnecessary pain. If it hurts and is a constant struggle… If it’s hard and makes you unhappy, then you need to just let go. Life is too short to be anything but happy. One of the simplest ways to stay happy is to just let go of the things that makes you sad. There is something so beautiful, so powerful and so unique in each and every one of us and the more we cling on to toxic relationships, the harder it will be for us to tap into our own greatness. Detach, let go and learn to love yourself for who you are and not for who others want you to be. Remember, it’s the relationship that you are letting go of but not the love you have for the other person. I still care about my ex-girlfriend and I know that I will love her for as long as I live, but that doesn’t mean that we should be together. We tried, it didn’t work and we had to let it go, and I hope you will find the strength and courage to do the same.
Way too many people cling on to toxic and unhealthy relationships just because they think that without the other person they will be nothing and their life will be worthless. Total nonsense! I used to think that way as well. I used to believe that if me and my girlfriend broke up, my life would be worthless and that nothing would make sense anymore, but guess what? Ever since I managed to let go, my life became more meaningful than ever and you know why? Because I have learned to love and appreciate myself and to stop looking for my “salvation” somewhere out there, in other people. Believe me when I say that who you are is more than enough and that you don’t need another person to complete you, but to help you see how beautiful you already are and how much you have to offer. Written by Danjuma Iliya.