For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Eph 5:30-32 NKJV. What is the reason for marriage? Apostle Paul said that the criteria for marriage is first to be a MEMBER OF CHRIST BODY, of His flesh and of His bones. It is through the knowledge of Christ gained that will give you the reason for marriage. Paul said “for this reason”, that is, after you become members of Christ Body, you should then leave your father and mother and be joined to your wife. It is then that the two of you can truly become ONE FLESH. This is a great mystery that concern Christ and the Church. Except God declares that it is not good for you to be alone in life and in your labor, it is better to yet wait. Nobody is permitted to put pressure on you to get marry. Others may all be flying their wedding cards and storming the media with jingles, but it is unwise for you to leap into matrimony because of peer or societal pressure. Remember that you may have a blissful wedding in the company of rich friends but marriage is what you must face privately and personally. Though marriage is good, yet it can become your graveyard if god has not ordained you to be in it at the time you enter. Untimely marriage is the current reason why many are making great mistake in chosen their marriage partners. The scripture says, “…and the Lord bring her to the man”, Gen. 2: 22. The woman is in the master’s hand. When the Lord has sanction or approved the right time for you to come together, He will bring her into your vision and into your mission in life. Wait for God to do that in his own time and in His own way. While God takes time to bring her up in that way, wait and rest in His great wisdom. What you need is a ‘deep sleep of faith’. Note this firmly: until God brings her into your life, vision, pursuits, mission; you would not succeed any far struggling to drag her into it. When God brings her in by grace, it is quiet, refreshing, energising and gratifying. But if not, it will be like the marriage of Job. His wife married him because of wealth. Now that the wealth has deflated, she wanted him to die so she could remarry. Lot’s wife too is another practical example of the repercussion of wrong marriage. She didn’t buy in her husband’s vision. He tried to convince and drag her in, but to no avail. At last, she turned her back on God’s warning and became an example to women who will not take heed to God’s Word. If I may ask, why are you so eager to get married? If you have a wrong perspective in entering into marriage, then get ready to live a miserable life. Marriage is more than having a desire to lick the lips, stare at a beautiful face, and have a fantastic sex. After marriage, soon the lips will dry and the face will shrink; and as the outward beauty fades and the pocket deflates so your spirit drops down and nothing more to hold or sustain the marriage for a life time. There is more to marriage in the history of the world than just a mere coming together of two human beings for social or spiritual acceptance, and security. It is a huge responsibility and a lifetime sacrifice based on true love from the soul. So, there are many things to consider before taking this lifetime commitment. What to consider goes a long way in determining how friction or success one will encounter in marriage. God's interest preceded our concern, Gen.2: 18. He provides Right Man/Right Woman apart from human assistance, Gen.2: 21. There is only one man that can fulfill the woman and only one woman that can complete the man. Both the woman's body and soul is designed especially for one man, Gen.2: 22; cf. 1:27; Gen.5: 2; Jer.31: 22. Waiting on God to provide provides Right Man/Right Woman saves wear and tear. Adam recognised his Right Woman to be unique, Gen.2: 23. And he also recognised God's timing, Gen.2: 23. There was no distortion or perversion between Right Man/Right Woman, Gen.2: 25; 3:7, 11. We can learn many other things from the Garden. The Lord brought the woman to the man. So how should we try to find Right Man/Right Woman? We should not worry about it. We do not have to date around, become socialites, go to bars, or run ads. Exclusively the personnel director, the Lord Jesus Christ, who escorts the Right Woman to the Right Man, handles the meeting. The art of finding a spouse that honours God certainly has perplexed many. In some ways we as humans are totally at the mercy of God for him to place us in front of the person he has designed for us. Just like when Adam met Eve, it is the divine providence that governs each and every event of the universe which includes discovering God's mate for us. Not a single event, meeting, relationship, or circumstance happens unless God has ordained and predestined that event in the plan of history. However, we have a responsibility to walk in the grace of God instead in the justice of God. Though it is impossible to "miss the will of God" we can certainly place ourselves either in his will of grace or his will of discipline and justice. God has given to us in his Word principles concerning what to look for in a mate. Sadly, too often even Christians are confused in our generation in what to look for in a mate. Many times this is because they sit under teachers who do not believe and teach that the Bible is a sufficient guide in all areas of life. But the Bible gives men and women divine guidance in this area. “It will take you one minute to get into marriage, and a life time to get out. So, make the right choice” Written by Danjuma Iliya.