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IS THIS PERSON RIGHT FOR ME?

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One of the most often asked questions I receive from singles is: “How can I know if he/she is right for me?” Marriage is a life-long relationship. Don’t rush when making such a great decision that will affect the rest of your life. When your premarital relationship is fueled by sex, you become blind. You don’t see the difference between the real love and lust. Sex covers problems in the relationship; what is wrong becomes right. If you believe in God ask yourself, does this person fear God? God-fearing test, Do you genuinely love each other? Love test, Have you prayed enough? Prayer test, ask yourself: is this person honest? Honesty test, ask yourself: Is this person diligent? Diligence (hard work) test, is the timing right? Time test, are you moving too fast in the relationship to marry? Speed test, Do you sometimes reflect on your relationship with your partner? Ask those burning questions. Give honest answers to your questions. Your questions and answers will mirror the relationship in a different way. Don’t be selfish. If you genuinely love this person ask yourself does this person love me? If you think he/she can make you happy, have you thought about if you can make the person happy as well? Rachel Safiew and Wendy Roberts recommended in their book: “There Goes the Bride” strong warning signs you should not ignore. They shared: “If you’re thinking of committing your life to one for the rest of your life, identify the non-negotiable. Don’t do this after the fact. Consider the non-negotiable: -If your partner hurts you physically, don’t proceed. It won’t get better. Emotional abuse is more difficult identity, but it can involve lack of respect, controlling, etc. Does the other person put you before their parents’ wishes or are they controlled by their parents? The scripture teaching of ‘leave their mother and father’ includes emotional as well as physical. -Don’t plan on a marriage fixing your current problems. - By Danjuma Iliya.

 

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