Whether married or unmarried, male or female, sexual desire is something all of us grapple with at many points in our lives. These are natural feelings and part of our body systems hence we cannot run away from them. While it is easy for married people and those in relationships to satisfy their desires, it is a whole new kettle of fish for single people. We tell you how to take charge of your sexual desire if you are single. Some people refer to sexual desires as a necessary evil as they do not know what to do with them, yet it is a part and parcel of their biology. We need it if we are to procreate as God commands us in the book of Genesis. Sexual desire, also referred to as sex drive or libido, is a powerful amalgamation of neurochemicals testosterone, serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine that drive an urge to satisfy sexual needs. These hormones regulate libido in humans.
For men, sexual desire kicks in at puberty and this is when some start to masturbate. Testosterone levels in men peak at around 18 years of age. Their libido will then develop until they reach around 50 years before it starts to decline. This has largely been attributed to a phenomenon referred to as andropause where there is a reduction of testosterone levels. Remember; testosterone is one of the major hormones that controls sex drive. For women, the sex drive begins later on and like for men, it increases with time. Experience has also been shown to increase a woman’s sex drive.
According to experts, women reach their sexual peaks between mid- to late-20’s. This level of sexual maturity is referred to as genital prime and it is when a woman’s body most quickly responds to arousal. Sex drive may decrease in women as they hit menopause as the estrogen levels fall and the ovaries produce less testosterone. Generally, sexual drive in humans is like an active volcano waiting to erupt. There are several factors that trigger it and they include a particular person or anyone of the opposite sex, time of day, emotions and visual cues such as erotic pictures or movies.
If not controlled, sexual desires can easily dominate a person and may lead to pain and eternal regret. It is thus important for anyone, whether married or not, to learn how to control them. It is worth noting that the earlier you take control of your sexual urges the better so as to avoid lifelong regrets. Furthermore, once married, you will be in a good position to ward off temptations to cheat on your spouse. So how can one control their sexual desires? We tell you.
Accept them: As explained earlier, sexual urges are a pretty normal thing that every adult goes through. We are also wired to think about sex. Don’t be ashamed of feeling this way. The first step to controlling your sexual urges would be to first acknowledge and accept them as a physical need that seeks fulfillment. In accepting our sexual desires, we are in a better position to keep our feelings in check.
Avoid triggers: In order to be in control of your sexual urges, you have to understand what triggers them. This varies from person to person hence it is imperative for one to do a soul searching to identify what triggers their sexual desire. Without doubt, we are surrounded with obvious signs and sexual innuendos; it would thus help to know when and where you mostly think about sex so as to help keep the mind alert to steer clear of them. If you notice that pornographic materials fire you up, make it difficult to access them. Dispose of pornographic magazines and videos and try to the best of your ability to resist the temptation to visit pornographic sites on the Internet. If being alone in a room with a member of the opposite sex brings thoughts of sex, avoid such situations.
Be a master of your own thoughts: It is the brain that releases the hormones that control sexual desires hence the battle can be fought mentally. Here, self-awareness is key as it is only when you identify your thoughts are drifting to sex matters that you can be able to distract yourself. Written by Danjuma Iliya