How do you go about choosing Your Most Compatible life partner? Marriage is a wonderful thing and every person wants to find a suitable life partner for themselves as it is a very serious lifetime decision for both partners. Marriage is not only about two personalities, but it is about two families and in some cases cultures joining together as one. Two hearts come together to build a relationship therefore this decision should be taken with caution.
When you choose a suitable life partner for yourself at first you start out as strangers to each other and with time you get to know more about one another, that's why patience and understanding is a very important essence, which will make your relationship grow stronger. But the big questions are.
Take your time in consciously and proactively choosing a life partner.
If you choose carefully and well, you will have a friend, a lover, a safe confidant, and a supporter. You will have a committed partner for life with whom you can share the ride of your love’s seasons and life’s miracles.
If you are a believer in Christ, your life partner should also be a believer (2 Cor. 6:14,15; 1 Cor. 7:39).
Nothing should be more important to you or to the person you marry than your spiritual well being. You should only settle for a believer who is spiritually sensitive to the Lord and desires to live for Christ (Eph. 4:17-5:20; Phil. 3:7-16; 1 Jn. 2:15-17). If there is a real spiritual harmony between the spouses, with Christ at the center of their lives any problem can be successfully handled. It is also wise to consider some of the following mental and physical capabilities of the partner:
For the Man: A person who is mature enough to care for another. Who has a steady job or a good business. One who is from a reasonably good family. As far as possible, suitable for her temperament. Who is humble and patient with her weaknesses. Who is willing to sacrifice his life for her.
For the Woman: A person who is willing to learn and adapt. Who has a desire for home making. Who has a love for bringing up children. Who knows at least some cooking. Who is warm and forgiving. Who puts his needs before her own. Who is submissive, patient and forbearing.
The integrity and the character of the person are very important. Peter Kusmic says, “Charisma without character is catastrophe.” He or she should be able to live in harmony with others. Top priority should be given to sexual purity. Sex was designed for marriage. You should save yourself for someone who has been saving himself or herself for you (Rom. 13:13,14; Heb. 13:4). It is wise to talk over this issue with your pastor or a Christian counselor, and make sure that your future partner has a good record of sexual behavior at least after being born-again.
The person you choose to commit your life to should not be committed to money, pleasure or popularity (Eccl. 2:1-11; 5:8-17; 6:1-12; Matt. 6:33; 1 Tim. 6:10; Heb. 13:5). He should not be a heretic. You do not have to agree on every minor issue, but make sure that you agree on the biblical basis of sound doctrine (1 Jn. 4:1-6). You should also agree on the issue of which church you should both attend.
Beauty is only skin-deep, but character goes right to the bone. To some extent you can consider the physical beauty, but it is not as important as the inner qualities (1 Sam. 16:7; Prov. 11:22; 31:13; 1 Pet. 3:2-5).
The person should not be lazy or selfish but should have the desire or the means to fulfill family responsibilities. Paul said, “If any one does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (1 Tim. 5:8). It is just not enough if a person loves you. He must be a person who can take care of your basic physical, mental, spiritual and financial needs. You cannot pay bills with promises of love.
How a person relates to the parents will tell you a lot about his or her character. God promises long life to those who respect and honor their parents (Eph. 6:1-3).
It Starts With YOU
First, get clear about who you are, the plan of God for your life and what you want so you can make a partner choice accordingly.
Who are you?
What is your life mission?
What are your values and what makes you ‘tick’?
What are your relationship requirements and needs?
What's the vision for your ministry?
Second, you have to choose a life partner who fits your vision and is compatible with your mission on earth, specific requirements and needs. You must also learn how to get your requirements and needs met in your relationship. If you fail, you will have only two options: live unhappily ever after, or leave the relationship. Written by Danjuma Iliya.