PRINCIPLES: According to Merriam Webster’s Dictionary, (1) it is a moral (concerning or relating to what is right and wrong in human behavior) (2) rule or belief that helps you to know what is right and wrong and (3) that influences your actions, (as a Christian) emphasis mine
RELATIONSHIP: From same source as stated above, the way in which two or more people, groups, countries, etc. talk to, behave towards, and deal with each other.
CHRISTIAN: These are the saved who have been redeemed from the lost world Col. 1:12-13.
With these definitions, we are then considering how a Christian could morally conduct his/her self with others towards having a relationship that is pleasing to God.
BACKGROUND: Information Transforms! Knowledge protects! Learning Activates! The word “Trans-form” has two words “Trans” and “Form”. “Trans” (prefix) means to “go beyond” “soar above”. “Form” (base word) means a structure, nature or body that is physical. “The earth was without FORM, and void…. “(Gen.1:2). This implies that the earth was shapeless, without physical nature or body. So, nothing becomes “trans” without “form”. Our thrust in this lectureship is not to “form” but to “transforming” us with Divine Information. You all as singles – widows or widowers, unmarried have a form but this lesson has a mandate from God to trans-forming this generation and beyond! This lesson wants us to go beyond our natural form. Transform (verb) to change the “form” of something – converting someone’s character or appearance.
PROLOGUE: The most significant relationship in the world and in life is not INTER-PERSONAL but INTRA-PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
INTER (prefix) means between; from one to another (inter-action).
INTRA (prefix) means within, inside; within you.
God did not start the human race with couple but single. Adam was made and placed in the Garden of Eden – God’s instruction. God did not have an issue with the singleness but the couple.
Intra-personal relationship is a key to all other relationships; Relationship with yourself – your self – image, temperaments, character, strength, gift, vision, design, purpose, power etc.
We often make a mistake to think that inter-personal relationship is highly necessary than intra.
FACTS TO CONSIDER IN RELATIONSHIP
NB: Marriage does not change people. Marriage never solve loneliness. If you feel that nobody loves and cares for you, you are worst person to marry. Never stand with someone when you cannot stand alone – within.
LEVELS TO CONSIDER IN RELATIONSHIP
Spiritual level (Relationship with God, the belief system and values) (usefulness or importance)
The Intellectual level (Education, skills, talents…)
The Sociological Level (Relationship with others, family members, colleagues, opposite sex). (illustration)
The Psychological Level (Temperament, self-control etc)
The Physiological Level (Neatness, body odor, mouth odor etc)
Spiritual level (agreement) in the Lord is the foundation for all other levels. According to Myles, (2004:26), Spiritual level is the foundation stone for every truly successful, productive and fruitful relationship. People can share common interests, intellectual pursuits, and have the same goals, but without spiritual agreement, they will still have broken relationships. God did not start from any level than Spiritual.
Stormie Omartian (1982) berates the DANGERS in marrying someone outside your faith. The language in the family should be that of God and His Word. You cannot be spiritually, historically, financially, and physically naked/opened/transparent if you are not on the same spiritual page. (Dag Heward –mills 2012:20). 2 Cor. 6:14
The best place to find a godly person is the God’s kingdom from Acquaintance – casual friendship – close fellowship – intimate fellowship and friendship. Pre-marital sex destroys marriage. It prevents one from being “REAL” J. C. Maxwell. Rom. 12:1-2
WORK ON YOUR CHARACTER
MARRIAGE IS DETERMINED BY THE QUALITIES OF THE SINGLENESS.
PONDER ON THESE QUESTIONS
Questions: can you marry yourself – a person just like you? Do you believe yourself - to have children like yourself? Do you have value – to add value to others?
Run away from anyone who says I would die if you don’t marry him/her. Be attractive within.
Every Divorce Started with “I LOVE YOU.” Do not marry unknown “HISTORY” person. God hate divorce – Mal.2:16.